I'm here for the sex!

Daniel Fairclough & Nicolas Deluca pose for 'Super friends'

Ok so with the return of NBA Jam I think it best to highlight who would make the cut for the best duo in Glenhaven footballing history! Who would you pick? Does Nadia Petrova remind you of a fat guy in Canada?


It's a heavy task and much like Mikey Robbins I carry a weight too much for any human to stand. While his weight is his huge arse and lack of humour, mine is the weight of responisbility to pair up the best duos since Charles & Eddie. Let's do this thing!

Geoffrey Werner & Hayden Cooper


Strengths: Knowing each other inside and out

Weaknesses: That doesn't really translate to success on the field

Special move: Love.... (WTF?)

Chance of selection: 3% - Aimed at the gay and women over 40 market.



George & his Abs


Strengths: - Ab work.
- Girls.

Weaknesses: - Articulating himself in English.
- Abs can get cocky and do their own thing.
- Cannot play on sand covered pitches.

Special move: Pressing the X button 3 times intiates Manpower mode where George and his Abs dance to "You can leave your hat on" in a red velvet covered room.

Chance of selection: 100% in Japan (they like his girlish charm). 2% in Germany (they criticise his weak bone structure).

Hutcho & Chris


Strengths: - Music
- Drew Barrymore trivia
- Church guitar solos

Weaknesses: - manly things.
- A flat, A minor, B Sharp, C flat, F minor and high C above A
- possible non-existence of testicles


Special move: Hamlet on the axe. One recites Hamlet while the other jams out on his guitar.

Chance of selection: 0% in 'So you think you be a church guitar solo playinga ctor duo'



Mr Cool & Frank


Strengths: - Frank's superior bedroom skills and charm
- Mr Cool knows all the words to Jai Ho

Weaknesses: - Unable to provide discount naan ovens
- If mated, child may look like artist's impression above


Special move: Frank being Frank.

Chance of selection: 83% due to the Frank factor.



Cottee & Dowd



Strengths: - Hard work, sometimes 8 days a week
- Gold pouch around one member's neck
- Cool little hats
- Cool candle holders

Weaknesses: - Stereotype associates one as a poor athlete and having curly hair
- circumcisions

Special move: They'd all be special because getting this duo together may prove difficult due to a hectic work schedule and money swimming ala Scrooge McDuck.

Chance of selection: 100% in Hollywood, 5% elsewhere, 0.2351% in regional centres.