Athletes

Hey guys. I'm the blogger. I am happily married to my wife, we have to kids and I'm doing they're aunty on the side. My hobbies are woodwork, photography and music. I used to like Kings of Leon a lot before they started playing them on 2dayFM.

Being a blogger is like an episode of Beyond 2000, fucking awesome! This weekend was great. We went from the lows of getting a game stolen from us to snatching a draw from our arch nemesis. Lemme break it down:

SATURDAY

Started off great. Got up to a score of 4-2 with some great goals and efforts. Fairclough's back post header was "CENTIMETRE PERFECT" and Dowd's 6 yard tap in went way above the posts. You could've put a goal on top of the goal and it still would've missed.

Either way, the effort put in to get to that scoreline was all for nought because of 3 plays:-

- Mr Cool unfortunately didn't realise you cannot hip check players in the box Fulton Reed style. A bash brother you may be, Pele you are not. While Gunnar Stahl maybe feeling tingly from you laying a guy out, you'll get no BJ action from Julie the Cat thanks to that indiscretion. So next time you are channelling Fulton Reed, just wear a bandana instead.

- It wouldn't be a loss without a Graham Werner incident now would it? From the day you a born, you are told to communicate with the keeper so you can organise your defensive strategy. Graham might as well have sent Price a letter from Cuba when he attempted to call Price's ball from about a metre inside halfway! As soon as Graham and the player he was marking crossed halway, he was yelling out "Keeper's!". Price responded correctly "No". I would have added a few expletives highlighting the laziness of said defender, lack of marking the attacking player and all round defensive inefficiency of defending player. Lay off the Nintendo dude...

- Crazy or Batshit crazy as I like to call him. Well Crazy went fucking mental on Saturday and decided to get in on the Bash Brothers act with little result. I know the guy is called Crazy right, but I was thinking he should be more along the lines of Rain Man cos the dude is retarded. Thanks for leaving us with 10 men. Last week I said by Football Fans, for Football Fans, no dildos. I was wrong, you're the dildo, Rain Man!

..... and that is how the West was lost. Save for those 3 incidents we go on to win 4-2. Head scratcher ain't it?


SUNDAY

I really liked the Sunday game we played this week. There were a lot of positives but most of all I was just happy because the boys played like athletes and not FATletes like normal. The rain tumbled down..... everyone slipped and slid....... Frank got a YELLOW CARD!!!!!!! Awesome!

I will highlight 2 things on today's performance.

No. 1 - The unmarked guy at the top of the box screaming out your fucking name is not doing it to get attention like some bag lady in Taylor Square. No, no, no. He is doing it because if you pass the ball within a 2 metre vicinity of him, he will score. Ill advised pot shots from the corners are the wrong play. We call it Fred Coiro Syndrome (FCS) or Phantom Conscious Ailment (PCA). FCS and PCA basically boil down to the same thing. Where in a game of basketball Fred Coiro would jack up contested 3 after contested 3, sometimes from as far away as 38 feet, he would do so without any regret, remorse or guilt. This is especially prevalent when a teammate is ina better position to make a higher percentage play. The lack of conscious guilt shown when making such a play is the only symptom of FCS or PCA.

Long time FCS and PCA sufferer - Stirling Mortlock

No. 2 - Mr Cool's Redemption and last minute Bruce Lee Enter The Dragon -esque kick to score the winning goal. Hats off to you... I take back what I said, maybe you are Pele. The Indian Pele. Pele Singh, famous for his tikka naan and unruly turban.

P.S. Highlight 3 was:

Referee: "We can't it's a head injury"

Rens: "You're a head injury! ZING!!"