The Unknowns......

Looking forward to the year ahead we have to be brutally honest with ourselves as fans of the Parrots. Sure we are glad to have our players back and all that crap but really, what questions and of who do the aforementioned questions need to be asked of? It is time we delved into....... THE UNKNOWNS!!!!!!!!!

Pri(n)cey's Leg.

How will it hold up this year? Yes, he is playing keeper but will no doubt want to continue his enforcing ways. Will this contact hurt him? Will it hurt his bionic leg and matching scrotum (the one with the trademarked burberry tweed)? Who know. All I am sure of is that I'd rather Prince/Pricey playing keeper with one leg than Deluca playing with two. Have I mentioned how crap The Mayor was in goals against the Hawks? Man, he stunk so bad its weeks latter and the stench still has yet to fully depart my nostrils.

Mr Cool's Singing Career.

Since linking up with Nicole and the gang to perform the worldwide hit "Jai Ho", how will Mr Cool react? Will he be a diva? Will he go all Bobby & Whitney or will he finally get us the discount naan ovens we've been begging him for? Hopefully he just keeps singing the worldwide smash "Jai ho....."

George's Groin

Before we start I admit that Geoge's groin sounds very familiar to Georgia's groin but I ask of you, how can a Eurasian country of the South Caucasus region have one collective groin? The answer of course is that it can't and we do of course refer to Chris "George" Harrison's groin. After studying the the medical diagram supplied above I have come to a few great conclusions.

1. The groin is all bout the circles!

2. Sexual problems reside south of the belly button border.

3. I don't know what a voiding problem is but I am hazarding a guess that it relates to poopey and pee.

4. The picture is to scale.

For all Parrots and Parrot fans we can only hope and pray that the discomfort experienced by George stays isolated to the outer blue area and does not dare make it's way into the scrotal red region. Ouch!

Before I finish off this section about what may or may not happen in George's pants this year, I want to point out that I have posted a picture of a penis. That is all.

The shoes

While the wearer may resemble Princess Fiona and the resultant footwear like something Shrek tried to fuck during his rebellious teenage years, we all just hope we never see them again. Will we ever see those hideous booger boots again? I hope not.... Our season depends on it! Personally I'd think if the whole team wore Crocs we'd seem like less of a fuckwit than running round in the same colour boot as Carlotta's latest dress.