Swine flu and you..... A bloggers guide to beating Roselea.

Dear readers, I quote the poet of our generation, Mr Snoop Dogg. "It's on again, it's on and poppin". We are obviously talking about us versus Roselea. That's right sports fans, it is time for the grudge match of the year where we host the morons behind the Mormons (their home ground is literally behind the Australian headquarters of the Mormons).

Since the beginning of time there have been grudge matches and the question that has remained supreme is that of are we real men if we don't have a true nemesis? Sonic had Dr Robotnik, Astronauts had Cosmonauts (sounds like a girl's magazine version), Franky had Ron Jeremy, He-man had Skeletor, The Karate Kid had the Cobra Kai Dojo, and the list goes on. Glenhaven Parrots AA12's have Roselea. They don't dare invoke the name of some great native fauna as a mascot. No, they simply draw their mental equivalent. A stickman. What is a stickman? Not some cool brand of pants you wore in 1993 while listening to Wrecks n Effects before heading off to Skate 2000 so you could jump on your rollerblades when House of Pain was playing. A stickman is the retarded mascot of a team that is devoid of any redeeming quality. At least Steady Eddy had funny jokes about rooting his wheelchair bound girlfriend. Roselea is like Steady Eddy with Chris Rock jokes. Just some unfunny disabled person, that has a few "white people are dickhead" monologues and nobody likes those people. Nobody!

The fued runs long and deep, going back at least 2 seasons. Sure they stacked their side with wussy little snot lickers and some lesbian that rivalled Grahams 28 stone frame but what bore this grudge? Maybe it was Reg's bodyslam *kapow*! Reynolds' infamous 15 second carding or maybe, just maybe it is because they are a team of knuckle dragging, fucktards that smell like the Ganges (sorry Cool but that place stinks) and look like the monster from The Goonies.

"So, how to beat them?" you ask. Glass them like Greg Bird would to his Mrs? No. Too cowardly and testicleless. Punch them in the collective groin? Fail, too crass and unimaginative, plus Stickman doesn't have stick balls. Too hard to draw. Bodyslam them, Reg-style? Nah, too crude. LET'S SWINE FLU THOSE PRICKS!!!! Ok, 1st you ask, how can we come in contact with the flu and not get ill? We are parrots, we only get avian flu! Battle won.

First, where do we get it? Well, Swine flu was created by the Jews so us non-Jews would stop eating delicious bacon. Cogito ergo sum, Dowd is a Jew so he created swine flu (Yes, quoting Descartes incorrectly or in the wrong context that deals with the ensuing prose makes me seem like an idiot but I think it adds to my charm) . Dowd must have stockpiles of the stuff and is hand injecting it into every pig, bacon and piece of pork he finds!!!! We simply get Dowd to vapourise the agent and pump it over to them via a series of tubes i like to call the "gonna-eff-you-up-you-Roselea-Retards.....tubes. Simple. Game one. Let's tear the Stickmen some new stick-arseholes!

Also, I heard they are changing their name to the Rosela Conroys. Doesn't that just make you wanna smack them in the face???