Some have described us as a team who plays champagne football on a beer budget. Some have described our antics as "a non-stop rollercoaster of excitement, punctuated with side splitting gags that make you wanna piss on your neighbours cat" (Sun-Herald 2008). Some call us the awkward Rove McManus joke thrown in at the logies. Some call Hutcho, Gretel Kileen with less Kileen and more Gretel. I call us Parrots.
Unfunny Rove.
Hilarious Rove!
For those of you that don't know. First Rove is a dickhead, the kind of guy who still thinks saying not after everything is the comedic equivalent of splitting an atom. Second Rove is Karl Rove was part of the Bush administration and all round funny man. He believes that you are entitled to your math and he is entitled to his math. So 1+1 may not equal 2 for Karl Rove. Genuine funny guy... Started the Iraq invasion after a prank call gone wrong to George W. Bush.
ROVE: Yeah, I'm one of these terrorist guys and have this weapons that could cause mass destruction.
GEORGE W. : No way!
ROVE: Yeah dude. Serious. They are all explosive and stuff.
GEORGE W.: Just wait til I tell Daddy and Jeb. Lucky I effed over Florida, that Gore pansy would've just planted trees. Ima go postal on Iraq's ass!!!! (drops phone, can be heard singing War in the background)
ROVE: Crap. I think the jackass thinks it's real. His dad did mention something about his dream as a 26 year old was to fight against the Rebel Alliance in the Star Wars. He said the Empire was his life...
GEORGE W.: Hoo... Haaa. War! What is it good for? Absolutely George W.......
And so it was. Karl Rove started it all. As I said, funny dude. Funnier than Rove anyways.
I guess that means I have to talk about yesterday's game and how we played. Played poorly. Lost 5-1. Our goal was a screamer netted by Pops off an equally great cross. Crappy passing. Some players ran their nuts off and others seemed lost. They were quick through the middle, we were Harold Bishop in a world of Usain Bolts. The boys just looked really uncomfortable aside from a few flashes of brilliance where they genuinely looked good (for 30 seconds). Their ball retention was horrible and the possession was almost non-existent. I guess we have to look to skies and hope that they click cos right now they are in a 7 goal with 2 losses against them. Hardly grand final worthy..... Probably Werner's fault.......
We all have one thing to take away from the match, and that is a memory of Daniel fairclough's "attempted" bicycle kick. The intentions were grand, the execution lacked the same pizazz as the intention. Minds were cast back to the great bicycle of 2008 when Reynolds netted what is probably the best goal in the history of Glenhaven football.
So we left the field sad, distraught and generally upset. Have we sunk this low? To lose to Roselea? To battle against the retards of the football world? I hope not. Hopefully it's a slump and we all have slumps, some of us just choose not to have it on the football field. Everyone deserves a facepalm. Well, not everyone... Hopefully everyone works on passing, supporting the player with the ball and giving him easy options instead of the panic station style of kick and hope.
Mr Cool should stop headding the ball. For you, Sir Cool.
And so that finishes Round 2. I've tallied my votes for the Nick Darcy Medal for Bravery, Courage and Sportsmanship. I have scored the book holding the ballots for the Darryl Somers "Why be good at one thing when I can do a few things really poorly?" and selected the nominees for the Andrew G "I'm just like you but cooler, more attractive and have really, really nice hair" Trophy.
So the plays of the day and vote getters were.....
Nathan Ottley - Scored a screamer. Wrong net champ.... I know you are upset about it but it's ok cos we don't really have a great aversion to own goals cos Werner normally nets about 10-15 a year.
Corey "David Copperfield" Knuckles - A handball with no hands and a trip with no body contact. Closest thing I have seen to someone actually using 'the force". Blew my mind! (Blew the ref's whistle, hahaha <---- Rove-style joke)
Graham Werner - The boots are still there. The pace sure isn't. I wonder if Graham has ever seen the front of a soccer player, he sure has seen a lot of their backs.....
Roselea - Look like a combination of librarians, Trekkies and Maths students from UTS. Emabarassing!
Word-of-the-work: Shitstain as in: "That number 17 is a real shitstain".
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