What I've learnt about Perth....

Thanks to the continual updates by a certain parrot as he sits across the other side of the country, I've learnt a fair bit about the city, the people and the culture. So get ready cos I am about to hit you with some knowledge....

1. 1993 never happened in Perth - as far as the residents of Perth are concerned, it is still 1992. The success of Nirvana's 1991 album still hangs stagnant in the air as the teen population adorns itself in the crappy black or some psuedo Japenese fashion items best reserved for a dance party in Nimbin.
2. The Fremantle doctor is great when you need a few wickets on the fifth day of a test match but horrible when trying to land.
3. $10 for a pint at a crappy Irish pub that pours possibly the worst Gusiness in the history of the world is completely acceptable.
4. Hanging out at a Hungry Jack's is awesome if you are a 15 year old.
5. No matter what you do, or where you go, it is always hilarious to see lesbians. A homosexual male is often neat, stylish and social. I only see lesbians that look like Shane Warne at the height of weight spike.
6. No sport goes live into Perth on a Friday evening except for the Super 14's semi. Re-runs of King of Queens manage to suffice the entire population. All 14 of them...
7. When you wonder where all the people from your past that seemed slightly retarded went. They went to Perth and fornicated, creating a population of tards. (I did however hear there are the rare normal people)
8. A taxi driver who plays Justin Timberlake's 2006 album FutureSex/LoveSounds loud and on repeat, with a Nike swoosh shaped ear ring and shares the same ancestary as Mr Cool. He'll probably have Jai Ho cranking in 4 or 5 years...
9. Perth is lame.

You've just been hit with some knowledge. Recognise.