I don't normally skew from the world of football to post blogs based on hate but I think you will all appreciate what I am about to do. Is it a rant? Probably not. I just really don't like Rove McManus. In a country full of underrated comedians like Tim Minchin, Lawrence Leung, Dave Hughes and Chris Lilley (don’t care how successful these dudes are, they don’t get a weekly show hence they are underrated or more accurately under-shown on television? I just made a phrase up.) , we get left with the Roves, the dickheads from Fat Pizza and Nick Giannopoulos.
I hate switching on my television, sitting down and seeing a guy that looks like Rattus P. Rattus from The Ferals tell “jokes” (and I use that word incredibly loosely) that seem to appeal to the population of anus sniffing, knuckles draggers walking the backstreets of our less than favourite suburbs. Where did Australian television go wrong? I’d rather watch old Moonface have an hour long show. It’d be hilarious! He could chuck in a few gags about Patty, bring on his woman beating son and even took to his rootable daughter. That would be grand! Instead we get left with the great turd of Australian television who experiences a ratings peak every time he brings Elmo on. He probably thinks it’s due to some cute chemistry the 2 have going on but in reality it is simply the fact that his viewers increase as parents with the same IQ as their 3 year old tune in to watch their favourite character from the street. Awesome.
I hate switching on my television, sitting down and seeing a guy that looks like Rattus P. Rattus from The Ferals tell “jokes” (and I use that word incredibly loosely) that seem to appeal to the population of anus sniffing, knuckles draggers walking the backstreets of our less than favourite suburbs. Where did Australian television go wrong? I’d rather watch old Moonface have an hour long show. It’d be hilarious! He could chuck in a few gags about Patty, bring on his woman beating son and even took to his rootable daughter. That would be grand! Instead we get left with the great turd of Australian television who experiences a ratings peak every time he brings Elmo on. He probably thinks it’s due to some cute chemistry the 2 have going on but in reality it is simply the fact that his viewers increase as parents with the same IQ as their 3 year old tune in to watch their favourite character from the street. Awesome.
Rove's doppelganger
But who do we blame? Rove? No. He is some lucky midget that wound up with a TV show. If I had a TV show it’d probably blow too except I’d just get Barney Stinson in every week to give it the punch it needs. Do we blame his parents? No, they tried. Nothing to do with them. Hamish Blake? What would the Australian comedic equivalent of an elevator fart have to do with it? You’re right though, he is like wiping your arse with a toothbrush. Do we blame Channel Ten? Probably. The only ones who dared try to prove wrong the old adage that you can’t polish a turd. Channel Ten found out that you can’t. You end up wasting Brasso, cloth and you get shit everywhere. I mean everywhere! Even a smidge on the Logies, Australia’s night of nights (behind Water Rats reruns and the Allan Border Medal. Am I right or am I right?). We’re just one more ill placed hermaphrodite joke away from a violent outburst at the Logies. I just wish Nick Darcy was invited, he’d sort it out…. Then again, at least Rove isn’t Kyle Sandilands so it isn’t all bad news. Maybe Rove isn’t that bad but he’s at least the white version of Chris Rock. Incredibly overrated, over appreciated and semi-retarded.
The good thing is, Rove Live is a light entertainment program. Light in entertainment, heavy in being shit.
So here it is. My top ten list of people that piss me off:
10. The conservative right.
9. Dicko
8. Cast, crew, writers, producers, backers of Home & Away (except Ashwood and the cast that used to be on Blue Water High).
7. Gus Gould
6. Jarryd Hayne
5. Andrew G
4. Idiots
3. Graham Werner
2. Rove McManus
1. Kyle Sandilands
And my top ten people that should get their own variety/light entertainment show ahead of Rove:
10. Lawrence Leung
9. Dave Hughes
8. Katy Perry, Alyssa Milano & Lily Allen present Celebrity Hot Chick Jelly Wrestling
7. Blue Water High Cast
6. The Janitor
5. Barney Stinson
4. Frank The Tank
3. Kyle Sandilands
2. Bert Newton
1. Graham Werner
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