From the desk of F Cozzarin

Dear World,

I just thought I would let you know that I am awesome.

Thank you for being you and allowing me to walk about all day being awesome. Sometimes I don't think people realise how awesome it is being awesome but then I remind them who I am and they reluctantly open up their knowledge baskets.

Take my team for example (and believe me, it's my team!), the guys there are ok. Sure there are some dickheads but sometimes they get down. I was talking to Craig and he was upset that his ballet show or whatever it was had just finished. I couldn't understand why he was upset because my awesomeness was getting in the way. I'd only be upset if the role forced me to drink Tequila and nail hot chicks. I think that leaving that would force me to cry.

Oh wait.... Text message..... It's your mum saying she wants me to nail her! Boom! Smell that? It's you getting burnt! Zing!

Anyways world, I was also being awesome the other day when I got a call from Daniel Fairclough. He has body issues and I can understand that. We were talking about the new Kings of Leon CD..... Hmmm... I can't remember anymore cos I tend to zone out when boring things come up in conversation. Like the time I was hanging out with Edge and Pricey when The Juice started banging on about quiches. We both looked at each other and rolled our eyes. I drifted off and started thinking about the time I nailed Farrah Fawcett and Suzanne Somers. Word to the wise, thigh masters gets the Frank tick of approval! Ahh....

Ok world, thanks for listening and showing me how awesome I can be. We'll talk again soon, I'm getting bored and starting to think about the tryst I had with Olsen twins. Don't worry it was legal.... Well they were legal. The shit we did is illegal everywhere except a small African nation where a Gazelle is actually the President. True story, I nailed a chick from the senate.

Peace out world.

Frank.