I received this email this morning. Don't know this cat but sounds excellent! He even included a photo. I have posted the email in it's entirety with no editing or touch ups from me.
Dear Herr Blogger
My name ist Klaus von Weiner Muncher. I come from ze great state of Bavaria in beautiful Germany. I have been great admirer of Parrots Soccer for a long time and found your blog on accident whilst searching for literature on ze internet. Ze literature in question is a book describing ze journey of podophila sperm entitled ‘From Balls to Feet’. I am interested in such literature as I myself, Klaus von Weiner Muncher, am a foot fetish man. How coincindental zat whilst looking for sexyness I find my favourite Australian Soccer team. Zat is humerous, ja?
My favourite player ist ze little fat boy with ze green shoes. He looks like he has eaten lots of sausage in his life, ja? I wonder if he will come to my house for sausage sizzle? I provide ze sizzle if he provide ze sausage. He also gets called dick head - I would like to have his dick in my head if you understand my imperfect English. My second favourite ist ze midfielder with ze blue shoes. He reminds me of a young Rudi Voller in the way the he plays (picture attached). People say his name as Wrens. Zat is because he looks like many birds? Birds are beautiful creatures and he is beautiful man, zerefore his name ist Wrens. I understand ze Australian humour now, ja? How I love to spend 90 minutes on weekend standing in ze trees having self sexual pleasure watching ze two boys. I yearn to one day run on field and crash tackle one of zem. I zen peel back ze boy’s shoes and socks to uncover ze beautiful, sweaty, hairy skin beneath. I would zen lap up ze sweaty goodness, scraping filth from behind toe nails with my buck teeth. That would be audacious sexy move, ja? I am nervous about such approach, but ze fat boy may welcome ze attention.
Mr Blogger, your expert description of ze games and performances has been super. I will lend my opinion to your analysis through future emails. My Germanic heritage means I am tactically astute, ruthlessly efficient and good at invading countries zat are not islands.
Regards Klaus
p.s. ze boy named Geoff looks like a kind boy, but he has boyfriend Hayden, ja?
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